Looking Regal And Lost

A month has passed since I wrote about Oliver, I am sorry to say I have had no luck trapping him. I'm afraid I have taken a few steps backwards in attempting to gain his trust. He is no longer consistent with coming onto my patio and eating nightly. There are some days I don't see him come into the yard, however, I often see him eating and drinking in the shelter.

I've been trapping for a long time. I have experience with many different types of traps, netting, and different bait to use. I know how to handle strays, ferals and domesticated cats. I know how to tame a feral adult, and a kitten. I know how to gain their trust. It takes time, lots of time, and an extreme amount of patience. It also takes not giving up.

I find myself often in situations like this, that one elusive cat, a difficult case, eventually somehow, someway, I manage to get them in a trap, or gain their trust enough to allow me to pick them up and put them in a carrier. With Oliver, I feel helpless, lost, perhaps because when I sat there taking these pictures, talking to him in a low soft tone, he looked helpless and lost, so very lost.
I document all activity with my feral colony. Each morning for the past several years I make a note in their file, a note that simply says they were here and seen today, and looked healthy. When a new cat shows up, I note the color/markings, gender, and date/time they appeared, just in case he/she becomes a regular visitor and I may need to trap and tnr him/her.

There are also pages in the cats files that are blank, when one of the cats are not seen I don't make any notations. This helps keep track on when a cat went missing. The sad reality of feral colonies, we get no closure. Many times they just disappear. We can feed and care for a cat daily for years, then one day....Poof! They are gone. Your mind goes places you would rather not it go, but you can't help it. You imagine every horrific thing you can, hoping this isn't what happened, but most often you never know. You just mourn for them, miss them, and wonder. But, you carry on, and continue doing what you do, being a responsible feral cat caretaker.
Yesterday morning, we heard the most horrific sound in the distance, we were sure it was the painful screams of a cat. The sound was one of a cat that was in terrible pain, trapped and couldn't get away. I went out in the shelter, lifted the roofs to all the houses, trying to count for all my ferals. After a few hours, all were accounted for, except Oliver. All day, I looked for him, all day I waited. No Oliver. Hoping he would come for dinner last night, no signs of him. As each hour passed, I became overwhelmed with worry. He has been through so much already, I prayed that he would show up unharmed.
This morning, still waiting for any signs of him, my husband calls me from work and asks if I had seen him yet. He expresses his sorrow and concern also, which just adds to all the horrific things I am imagining by now. Finally, here I sit at the computer, and there I see him on my webcam walking into the shelter. He's fine, no harm has been done to him. I can now open his file and write that little note, and today's page will not be blank.

A Face That Breaks My Heart

The sad reality of feral and stray cats. Those who know me, know I feel it is very important to give every feral or stray cat that I come across, a name. It gives them purpose, and makes them important. This is Oliver, I think the name suits him well.
He showed up a couple of months ago. Until recently all of my photos of him were taken in the dark and I was never able to see just how bad his eyes were.
He would come to eat in the shelter and on my patio after the other ferals ate first. He would always keep his distance from me until I was safely indoors where I can observe him through the window.
Each time I would set the traps out he wouldn't show. Then weeks would pass before I would see him again. Typical when you think a cat would be easy to trap, you watch their schedule, you plan, then they change their routine on you. It gets discouraging, but you don't give up.
Since last month, Oliver and I have built a relationship, with just a bit of trust. He now comes to eat with all the ferals, he sits and waits on the patio for me to bring the wet food treat they all get each evening. He even allows me to pet his head some while he is eating. The infection in his eyes is disturbing. His vision is very poor. I honestly can't imagine that he can see anything, except shadows in a fog.

I realized just how poor his vision was when I had the trap right in front of him and was hoping to have gained enough trust to just guide him in. His head was very wobbly, trying to focus. He knew something was there, within two feet from his face, but he couldn't focus, he was frightened and left the yard. I then realized each time he didn't show when I set the trap was because things were moved in the yard, the trap was a foreign object that he couldn't see well, so he kept his distance.
While watching him daily, and viewing the dozens of photos I have taken, he appears to have a growth on the inside of his left lower jaw. It could be a tooth abscess, but until he is vetted, I won't know for sure.

I am remaining positive in hopes that he has nothing contagious. His nose is clear, his weight is good, his breathing sounds normal. Perhaps the infection in his eyes is just from fighting, and the growth in his mouth is just a bad tooth.

I discovered tuna is the most tasty thing he goes absolutely crazy for. I am trapping again tomorrow night, and hoping the tuna, and the little bit of trust he is gaining with me will be promising.

I also hope and pray after vetting, he can be helped. Here again, is another big gray tomcat that has captured my heart.

Where Has The Time Gone

Oh my, where has the time gone? I have missed so much. Time just flies by when we are having fun, or not. I do need to take the time to catch up on all of the blogs I follow, but what is time? Time is something I just haven't had for myself lately.

I do want to thank all of you wonderful blog friends that took the time to email me and ask if I was okay. I apologize for not replying. I have been so very busy, I have not been logging into my email, and when I did, I was surprised at the dozens of emails waiting for my replies. Those of you who called, THANK YOU, I really needed that break, and our talk.

So what has been taking up so much of my time? Too much to list here for now, but I will say my childcare has been extremely busy. With the new school year came many people looking for childcare/preschool for their little ones. I have spent the past few weeks interviewing potential parents throughout the day and into the early evening hours. By the end of each day, I am too exhausted to do anything but sleep. I now have no more openings in my childcare, and am almost overwhelmed. I tend to take on children that may need a little extra help, and one of the 2 year old boys I took on has really been challenging, but just yesterday, we made a break through, and after 2 weeks, I am seeing some improvement with some challenging behavior.

By the time my children leave in the early evening, I still have to tend to all the dogs, cats, and cook dinner, (if hubby is lucky enough), then sit with him for a few minutes, and off to sleep I go, only to start all over the next morning.

Being so crazy busy means I have neglected a few things. I had 3 cats I was suppose to take to our spay/neuter clinic two weeks ago, and I forgot all about it, until a rescue friend of mine called and asked if I had the three cats trapped and ready for transport. OOPS! This time I marked it on the calender for this month so I don't forget.

I have been trying to help a friend find homes for a litter of kittens and their mama that were born outside, just a few houses down from me, Not easy. The economy has hit this town hard, and all of our rescues here are referring people to take their pets to the shelter. None of our fosters have any room. All we can do, is keep doing what we are doing. Try to save one animal at a time.

I have much more to update on about my crew, but not enough time (there's that word again). For now, here are a few photos I took a couple weeks ago. We had just bought this new bunk bed play toy for the cats, and they all really enjoy it. It is a big hit. Mama Cat loves this, and was the first to try it out. Lacee is the one inside it.











I hope to catch up on everyone's blogs this weekend, and will try and make another post next week, and fill you in on a few important topics that matter to me.

The Phone Call

It all started with a phone call. One I wish I never would have made. Two female German Shepherds needing to be re-homed, the family is moving out of state and won't be taking them along. The black and tan shepherd found a new family right away. That left Belle, a pretty white, almost 2 year old German Shepherd. People don't seem to want the white shepherds as much as they do the others. I know from experience if a home is not found in time, she will end up at our local high kill shelter. All of our rescues are full, as soon as dogs are pulled from the shelter, more are being dropped off.

After several nights listening to hubby ask me "where is my white German Shepherd?", I gave in, and made the call, the call I now regret making. The very nice lady that owns Belle, told me all about her. "She is a little timid and shy at first, but after a few seconds, she will warm up to strangers." She is missing her sister, the other Shepherd they re-homed. We spent a half an hour talking and she filled me in on everything there was to know about Belle. I told her I didn't want to see her go to the shelter, and if she fit in with my family, and no one else came to adopt her, then hubby and I would.

Two days later I get a call, asking me to please come meet Belle, and lets see how things go. Hubby believed we would be leaving her house with Belle that evening. I assured him, we would just be evaluating her. I must admit, we both had our hopes up. We didn't need another dog, and often times we tell each other we don't want another, but then we admit to ourselves that if by chance the right one came along, we would take that opportunity.

On the drive there, we were already discussing how she would be spending the weekends with hubby at work, and weekdays with me. As we approached the driveway, there she was, peaking out from behind her current owner. Long, tall, graceful, beautiful, white Belle, carrying a tennis ball in her mouth, very thin, as she has quit eating since her sister was adopted. She would drop her ball, and hubby and I would take turns throwing it. Never once, would she come close enough to either of us to allow us to pet her. She wouldn't retrieve her ball from our hands, if we didn't throw it. Instead, she would cower with her tail tucked under her, stretch as far as she could, then run and hide behind her owner. She let out a few growls every now and then. After awhile we finally went inside and sat down, hoping if we ignored her she would come to us. She clearly liked men better then women, and that is okay, as she did manage to sneak up to hubby and lick his arm and face very quickly; then just as quickly backed away with her tail tucked, and climbed across the sofa back to hide under her owners legs. This time a few feet away from me, with another low growl.

No matter how long we stayed, she wasn't going to warm up to us. Needless to say, we were very disappointed when we drove away. I know with lots of time and patience, and the right experienced dog owner, she would come around, but sadly, our home and our schedule would not be right for her. She has all the makings of a fear biter. With running the childcare in my home, with me alone with her and the other dogs during the day, we have to admit, she would be too much of a risk here.

I don't know what will happen to her. I don't know what her future holds, or even if she has a future. I just wanted to hold her, and tell her everything was going to be okay, instead, as we drove away, I had this overwhelming feeling that we failed her. I can only hope the right family comes along for her.

Pilots N Paws Looking For Rescues

Pilots N Paws is trying to plan a 5,000 Animal Rescue Week to highlight security clearance requirements that may threaten air transport of animals.
The time chosen is roughly Sept. 12 to Sept. 20. THEY NEED RESCUES TO CONTACT THEM!!!!!! From all across the country!!! ASAP!!!

This is a dream for rescues! Let's help PILOTS n PAWS and get our animals to their new homes.

They ask that we choose trips of approximately 200 - 400 miles as that's about a one day trip for most pilots.

If you are a rescue and willing to participate, Please go to their blog and comment.

TO DATE, THEY HAVE HAD FEW RESPONSES FROM RESCUE GROUPS.

Air transport by volunteer pilots is so important. I think rescues would love this!!! The word is simply not getting to them. please pass this information on to rescue groups. CROSS POST like mad. We can't lose these pilots. They also need people to join as volunteer fosters.

They have a great interactive map showing volunteers and where pilots are located. Please help with this. Can you imagine 5,000 animals in the air in one week going to rescue or forever homes?!!!

Obviously, people can't hold dogs, but if enough can be located within a given distance of these airports, then whoever has an animal that needs to get somewhere that week, can participate.

My Rant

We all know of them, or at least heard of them. The people that decide to add a new puppy to their household. The excitement of getting a puppy, or even an adult; the excitement is the same. Lots of planning involved, we hope. Training, new food to buy, toys to purchase, more vet visits, oh what fun. But, what happens to the other pets in the household? Did they think about them when deciding to add another pack member?

We hear about people all the time getting rid of their pets. Many different reasons they all give. The dog is old, they need to make room for a puppy. Perhaps they are moving, new jobs, to save money, new kids, the list goes on.

One person I came across this past week has a four month old puppy. She also has a 7 year old cat. She has had the cat since she was a kitten, and has always been an indoor only cat. Now since the cat is afraid of the puppy, instead of working with the introductions and taking it slow, the cat has been banished to living outside. Why? Why do people do this?

Another scenario just this week. Similar, but different. In this case, the new dog is a 1 year old , and does not get along with the 10 year old dog that has lived there all his life, so they took the 10 year old to the shelter. Why? This was his home for 10 years, and was a very good dog.

Animals are a commitment. They are a living being. They are not disposable. When will people wake up and understand once they commit to bringing a pet into their home it should be a lifetime commitment. It is their responsibility, a huge responsibility. I understand there is that rare situation that it is in the best interest of the pet to be rehomed, but most times it is just greedy, uncaring individuals that want a new puppy, without having to put any time into proper training, introductions, and socializing. They don't want to put any effort into making it work.

Have you ever taken a walk through your local shelter, and walked by each cage, one by one, and wonder how that dog or cat found themselves there? What is their story? Have you looked at the card on their cage where it has a date, and spells out when their time is up? The next day you go back to check on that particular dog or cat, only to find their cage empty. Afraid to ask, hoping they were lucky enough to be adopted, but you know the truth.

They all have a story to tell. They all have a past. Many had wonderful homes, until they found they were being replaced by the new puppy or kitten.

People ask me all the time, why I do what I do with the strays and ferals. Why do I care? They are not my problem, I didn't cause their fate. Well, I can't just look away. They are all a living being. I can't save them all, but they all deserve a chance, because they all matter. Each and every one of them, cats and dogs, matter.

Another Cat Angel In Heaven

You showed up a year and half ago. Just like all the rest, searching for food, shelter, a safe place to stay. It took almost a year before you decided it was ok to come into the yard off the cat walk. I remember the first time I walked out the back door and found you sleeping so peacefully on the patio swing, your eyes barely open, hoping I wouldn't notice, or make you leave.

Then I was finally able to pet your head, often times getting scratched in the process. I wouldn't give up though. I wanted you to know not all humans were bad. You were one of the easiest cats I have ever trapped. Really, I didn't actually trap you. I just put the trap out, baited it with food, and held the opening, and let you walk in, and I shut it behind you, so it wouldn't startle you when it shut. What a trooper you were. Everyone at the vets office during the spay-a-thon said you were the biggest cat there, and so quiet, among the 190 cats there that day for their spay/neuter, you my dear BT, received so many compliments for being so big and handsome.

Yes, you were a stray, turned feral. I believe you had a home at one time, what it was like, I have no idea. I have lots of guesses, as something has caused you to not trust the human hands.

You quickly became very possessive over me, not wanting other cats near me. You often sat by the back door, waiting for me to come out. You would follow me around the yard, never fearing the dogs, you knew you were safe here.

It is my nature to care for all animals, but I am attracted to the misunderstood, the unwanted, the sick and the needy, I suppose we can call those the special needs. You were misunderstood by many, but I understood you perfectly.

You were already old when you found your way to me. Your teeth were brown, the ones you had, you were missing many.

Just two months ago, you finally allowed me to pet you more. This last month I had been blessed with being able to hold you, and rub you behind the ears. Thank you for giving me that gift, a gift I will remember always. I never gave up on you BT. You were a good boy. A special boy. I miss you sitting at the door waiting for me. I miss you following me around the yard. I miss you talking to me in that husky tomcat meow, when I am bringing you wet food.

I missed you tonight when I brought out five bowls of wet food, and realized I made a mistake, I only needed four.
You are at Rainbow Bridge now, with all the others that had gone before you. You are free, safe, healthy and young once again.

I miss you BT, I hope when you left this earthly world, you knew how much you were loved. You deserved better. Your time with me was too short.

Rest in Peace Sweet Boy.

RIP Grady

I haven't written much, and I apologize for that. Some of you may have guessed, but I lost Grady. Those of you who don't know his original story, you can read it here Hungry Stray Kitty and here Grady, (Stray Kitty)
I was hoping for a better outcome for the sweet little soul, and was hoping by Xmas I could have placed him in a very special home, one I knew he deserved. RIP Sweet Little One.

I want to thank all my wonderful friends who had offered their support and kindness after hearing about Grady. A very special thank you to my good friend Elsie, who wrote two very nice poems for me and posted them on her blog. If anyone is interested, they can read them here,
Cat Angel
The Runaway

Caring For Ferals

Caring comes with a price. At times it is a price of happiness and pure joy, other times it is sadness, anger and exhaustion. Having compassion is a good way to walk through life. Often times, having compassion leaves us with little or nothing to give.

Over the past years I have suffered from being exhausted mentally and physically from feral cat rescue and caring, especially when I give 110% of myself to save a life, then in the end slips through my fingers and nothing I can do can prevent it. Sadness comes when I constantly worry about those I have watched grow, and I loved with every ounce of my heart suddenly disappear, and no traces or signs are left to answer "what happened, where did they go"? There is a deep sorrow in my heart that drains every ounce of energy I have. My mind wanders and plays every scenario of all the possibilities that could have happened to that sweet little feral soul, that had come to eat breakfast and dinner everyday for years, then that one day arrives, he/she doesn't show up. I get no closure.

Trying so hard to save a life breaks my spirit when I lose that fight. Failure will eat at me, as I ask myself "what should I have done differently"? and my heart will be left with little hope, but I can never give up or give in.

Through all the hurt, the loss of hope, and sadness, I still continue to do what I do. Outdoors I am every morning and evening feeding the other feral cats and remembering the smiles they bring me, knowing I am making a difference in their lives, and shedding the tears at the memory of the ones I lost.

Being a caregiver for feral cats isn't easy. Tests of strength and weakness challenge me with every feral I try to help. Through all the heartache, caring for feral cats is a wonderful and beautiful experience. I would never turn my back on one of these beautiful little souls.

Grady, (stray kitty)

My husband decided to name him Grady. What a gentle name. Grady did not show up the night before last night. I was a little worried but not for long. Last night he was there waiting with the others for his food. I took a few pictures first, then brought him his food. This time, I was able to pet him and pick him up. He was so light. All I felt under that matted fur was bones. He didn't squirm or fuss, he just seemed to enjoy the kind touch of a human.

Today will be the first day of Grady's rehabilitation. We have antibiotics for him, he will be cleaned up, get some weight on him, then we will find him a forever loving home. One he deserves.

For the person who dumped him, all I can say is "how could you"? "How could you look into those eyes and put him outside to fend for himself"? "How could you feel good about yourself?" I am happy Grady found his way to me.

Hungry Stray Kitty

I have been seeing this little stray/feral cat sleeping on top of the shed with the other ferals in my back yard lately. He isn't here everyday that I have seen, but he may be coming very late at night, when I am not up and watching for him.

Three nights ago, as I was going out to feed the other ferals, there he was, waiting, perhaps hoping for some can food too. After setting all the bowls down for the others, I slowly walked toward him, as he was standing on the catwalk, he was cautious, but was more interested in the food.
Look at him. Skinny, matted, eye infections. As he stood and ate, all the other ferals stood by and watched and waited for him to finish. I had to stand guard and make sure the others did not take his food. We all stood there for 45 minutes. Yes, it took that long for him to finish his 5oz of can food. Look at those poor eyes. The poor baby, my heart just breaks for him. After eating, he looks like he is saying "Thank You".

It is apparent he once probably had a home. Was he dumped? Was he lost? Looking at his teeth, he is young. In my neighborhood, cats are being left and dumped all the time. The very reason I have so many ferals showing up, more cats being born feral.